


The Perils of Ambition

by firstlovelatespring



Category: IT Crowd
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstlovelatespring/pseuds/firstlovelatespring
Summary: Roy takes a full fifteen seconds to look at the screen and be absolutely sure his eyes are not deceiving him. “Yeah, no. This is not an IT networking forum.”
Relationships: Maurice Moss/Roy Trenneman
Comments: 16
Kudos: 45
Collections: Rare Male Slash Exchange 2020





	The Perils of Ambition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Big_bunbun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Big_bunbun/gifts).



Much like the mother of a video games-mad teenage boy, Roy’s subconscious has evolved the ability to tune out the technological noises that don’t pertain to him. Over the years he’s learned and then carefully forgot all of Moss’s Scrabble alerts and his special text tone for his mum; and he’s already learned to tune out Jen’s Jitter notifications. But now Moss’s computer pings. If sound could sparkle, this ping would be bedazzled. This ping is new.

Moss does not exactly have a reputation for being keen on new things.

“What was that?” Roy asks. He puts down his bag of crisps, but thinks better of it and picks it back up again.

“What was what?”

“You know, that— There it is again!”

“Oh, that. Why didn’t you say?” Moss stops typing to look satisfied with himself. “I’ve joined an IT networking forum.”

“IT people? Networking? With each other?”

“Yes, Roy. Some of us are ambitious. I’m an ambitious man.” Moss straightens his glasses.

“Are you now.”

“Well, no. But if I were, this networking forum would be the place to get connected! I’ve already got several interview offers.”

“You uploaded your resume to this thing? Moss, you can’t just put your personal information out there like that,” Roy says.

Moss shakes his head. “No resume needed. It’s like I’ve always said, the IT sector is experiencing serious growth. We’re in demand.”

Moss has definitely not always said that. In fact he’s never said it, but that’s so much not even the most egregious part of this whole thing that Roy lets it stand.

“Come on, let’s see these alleged offers,” Roy says. He gets up to look at Moss’s monitor over his shoulder.

Yeah, so that was _really_ not the most egregious part of this whole thing. Roy’s not sure anything on the entire internet could be more egregious. He takes a full fifteen seconds to look at the screen and be absolutely sure his eyes are not deceiving him.

“Yeah, no. This is not an IT networking forum.”

It is, inexplicably, an adult chatroom. Moss is talking not to a group of like-minded IT professionals but to the likes of hotmumxxx, teeniebabex, and single_girl34. The chat itself is divided into tabs and set on a muted purple color that Roy has, to be fair, seen in several legitimate online forums. The ads on the sidebar, however—Roy’s never seen ads like that outside of websites that are decidedly not safe for work.

Moss moves his cursor and clicks on one of the tabs to show Roy a conversation he’s been having. “If it’s not a networking forum, then how am I flippin’ killing it at networking?” 

> hotmumxxx: Hey sexy ;)
> 
> mossbot69: Hello.
> 
> hotmumxxx: Interested in enlargement opportunities? Click here

“See?” Moss says. “Completely above board. I think I might go in for an interview. Hotmumxxx is right, our industry is enlarging, and we can’t afford to be left in the dust.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” Roy says. “You know what, I do. What is your screen name? Moss bot sixty-nine?”

“And you call yourself an IT man. What is it, well, it’s a triumph of postmodernism, really. Of irony.”

“Nope, you’re gonna have to explain it to me.”

“It’s only 1969, the year before the Unix epoch started.”

“...Of course. Naturally. And the message from, what was it, hotmumxxx? I’m not familiar with that as a first name.”

“Now that’s just culturally insensitive.”

It takes Roy the better part of an hour to convince Moss that he has not been offered interviews, but male enhancement pills and opportunities to meet hot singles in his area. The only thing remotely IT-related about this site is all the bots.

Moss takes off his glasses and rubs his forehead. “I don’t know, Roy. If these are sexual advances, what about when Sandra on floor five told me she liked my glasses? Or when the girl who came to install the new wiring in Douglas’s office said we should totally sudo bang bang? That command doesn’t even work on Windows! Or the time...” Moss’s eyes glaze over like he’s reliving memories, and he rattles off a list of encounters with women. A surprisingly long list. Then he shakes his head and says, “Your mind may as well be a fallen leaf, because it’s in the gutter, Roy.”

Roy opens his mouth, then closes it again. He looks wildly around the office as if something in there might possibly explain all of this. Nothing does. “Moss, you’re a god.”

“Oh, don’t be—”

“Seriously, Moss. Women can’t get enough of you!”

Moss doesn’t quite seem to share Roy’s excitement. He looks more like Roy has just told him about a new Windows update. Someone, somewhere clearly thought it was necessary, but not Moss. To him it’s just not worth the fuss.

“Well, what am I supposed to do with that?” Moss says.

“I dunno. You’ve never wanted to be a big ladies’ man?”

Moss shrugs. “How big are the ladies?”

“How big are the…? You’re hopeless. This is wasted on you, wasted. Women love you, and you don’t even know it.” Roy throws up his hands in defeat.

“If you say so,” Moss says.

Roy shakes his head. He’s done all he can for today. The hour or so spent convincing Moss is his good deed for the week, if not his good deed for the month. He turns to sit back down at his desk.

But Moss looks so miserable. He’s clicking away at his computer, shaking his head and muttering under his breath and starting to sweat. Roy doesn’t sit back down.

“I could take your mind off it,” Roy offers, putting his hand on Moss’s shoulder. “Want to come over to mine tonight and watch a movie?”

“Oh, I’ve had it up to here, Roy. Don’t say that unless you ruddy well mean it!” Moss snaps. He shakes Roy’s hand off his shoulder and crosses his arms over his chest.

Roy recoils, starts to say that he didn’t mean it like that. Moss has been over to his flat dozens, probably hundreds of times, and Roy has never meant anything by it. He’s always assumed that if Moss had realized what he was suggesting, he would have been uninterested. But then, he’d also assumed that Moss might have the base level of awareness to tell when someone’s flirting with him, or when he’s mistaken an adult chatroom for an IT networking forum. Maybe this assumption is false, too.

Roy puts his hand back on Moss’s shoulder. “I think you’ll find that I really do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [asuralucier](http://archiveofourown.org/users/asuralucier) for beta reading. Any mistakes that remain are my own.


End file.
